Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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