Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
