Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
