Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
