Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize