Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize