she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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