Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
