Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
