NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
