You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize