have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
