nut hugger
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
