You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
