I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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