I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
