I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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