Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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