Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
