She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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