I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
