He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
