On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
