i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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