his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
