Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
