I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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