Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
