Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i out mim tonsoeep
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