i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
