i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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