that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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