I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize