Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
