I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize