um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
