also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
