Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
