He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
