Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
