i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize