omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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