I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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