Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
