Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
