I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
