Christians are straight up FREAKS
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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