I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
