Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
