no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
