Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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