just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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