He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
is wine microwaveable?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
