So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
