he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
