something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
