u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize