I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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