You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize