Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
