I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
