Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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