Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
