I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
