My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
