He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
