drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
