Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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