he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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