You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
