He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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