some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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