Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
