just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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