do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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