Pants 0. Shit 1.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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