i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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