Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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