I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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